thoughts and feelings

So hows this for not writting for awhile - 2 weeks I think - I've been in mood. Not sure what kind of mood, some moments I'm happy, then content, then not so happy and wishing things were differant... maybe a differant life, a differant me maybe... the old me, the new me, the me that I had dreams to accomplish... but never not a mommy me! And how does that bode for my moods? Not well. But then I think maybe have I just lost that connection with people who've made me happy throughout my life? So I started reconnecting with those people.. and my mood is good while I'm talking to them, and then I'm moody again when I'm not.. and what does that say about me and the life I've allowed myself to have? I feel sad while writting this and I want to cry... so what am I to do? I love my family and my husband but I can't help thinking there may be something more I'm missing... something I've lost along the way... some path I didn't take and now it's catching up to me. So what do I do, who do I turn too, how do I work this out? Do I just do as I've done before and ignore it and move forward, do I TRY to talk to a man that doesn't understand and takes it personally all the time? Do I say I need a break and walk away for a bit? I suppose I do what I've always done and move on... move forward and surpress it somemore... yeah for me... I think not.