REALLY?!

:) Well, it's really been since July that I've written here, no wonder I feel so screwed up lol. So let's see important details to go over and then some highlights to touch upon. First and foremost, let me just say that sometimes life sucks and then it seems to get better and then ... well, and THEN there are moments when you think you are dreaming and this can't be your life at all... So Since July, Jess and I have been doing better. We are getting healthier individually and that is increasing the healthiness of us together. This is a good thing, and I'm happy about this. No marriage or relationship is ever smooth all the time and if you are willing to fight for it, then you better do it with your whole damn heart, otherwise you need to walk away and come what may. But then, I have learned, there are those relationships that seem toxic when confined and healthier when apart... well, for those of you who can survive this way I say, Good for you! Right now, there are so many emotions that have been flying through my head. Last month I lost my Grandmother, she was so sick for so long, that this was no big surprise, but it stung nonetheless and I think it hit harder than I thought it would, in many ways it still does. There have been other things that have happened here and there, and things that I am so happy about I am bursting to cry tears of joy, and then at the same time cry tears of pain as well. Sometimes you have to know when to step back and admit that things should have, could have, what ifs and what not's all happened- or didn't happen. I've been doing alot of work on me lately. Aug. brought the realization that I needed, wanted is more like it, to go back to school... so I did. Online, and doing well with my classes. I have thought about personal relationships and what I will and will not put up with anymore and all of this has caused me to come to the conclusion that, there are people I love, care for and will put up with their crap for most of my life, I am a forgiving person, most of the time, however there comes a time when enough is enough. I think for alot of people that time is now. Ties of any sort can be severed, and other ties can hang on by a thread for a long time. I know this is very vague, but there are issues at hand that I will not air out, it's not healthy by any means and after this blog I'm done. I can say, though that there are loves in my life I thought I had lost, by mutual hurts and such, and I am so thankful that even in the smallest way, the most round about way I know that I haven't lost them. This I think is the height of my emotions this week at least. Well, for now I think I'm finished and ready to rest. To others that have hurt those I love, and those I care about remember that Karma is a Bitch and WILL kick you right in the ass, and you DON'T mess with parents of any children. A relationship between parents and children, whether they be adopted, step or paternal/maternal are relationships that are and will be protected by EVERY adult around them.