What a Day

Today was a dear friends funeral. This marks the third funeral this year I have attended, and out of all three I think this one hit me the hardest. I knew that Ken had impacted my life, and that he had touched so many lives in the course of his life, but until today I don't think I had ever really told anyone how much he had impacted mine. How much I loved him, I think I really take that for granted sometimes, and today I realized just how much I thought this man would live forever. I know he will live in our hearts for as long as we remember him, but really I thought he would always be there in my life... like I said forever. It was not so long ago, when a lost girl was trying to find her way in this world and a wonderful set of people, who loved my Mom and Dad so much,they took me into thier lives, opened thier hearts, and changed me forever. Ken, Phil and Sharon were these people. By opening thier arms and hearts, they taught me how to love fully. My Mom and Dad had shown me, and for some reason or another I ignored them, closing my heart to those who I knew loved me. Ken and Phil,along with Sharon for some reason I listened to them. I knew without a doubt that they were the REAL meaning of love and acceptance. Don't ask me why, but I have always known that I was a bit too much for my poor Mom and Dad at times, and I am so thnkful that these wonderful people were there for my Mom and Dad when I was so lost and consumed by myself and the world. Throughout this time this trio of Angels taught me how to overcome fears, to love with all of my heart and how to be the Mom, Wife and Child I needed and wanted to be my whole life. How to laugh when things looked grim and how to be charitable even when I felt worthless. I thank God everyday for these people. I think that my life without them would be far worse than my worse day, and far too lonely for me to bare. I am only sorry that I did not take the time in my busy life to go to Ken's home during these last days and see him, love him and thank him personally. Because of that I thanked his fmaily for sharing him with me. They know the struggle I've been through and they have never faulted me for any of it. So tonight I want to say to Phil and Sharon, to my own Mom and Dad - thank you. Thank you for never giving up on me, even in my darkest hour. Thank you for taking me under your wings and loving me. Thank you for listening to my fears and my sucesses, for loving my dear sweet boy Dakota, and my other children like they are your own grand children. Thank you for all of the good times and set realities in my life. I love you all so much, I love you more than words can say. And even though you 4 are those that I still believe will live forever, I know that one day God will call you home, just as he did our friend, brother, and commrad Ken and when that day comes I will cry for you as well, but remember that these are not all tears of sadness, but of memories and most of all of love. Mom, you know we have not always gotten along so well, but you are my best friend, you are the one I turn too the most when I need a question answered or just a shoulder to cry on. I love you so much. Daddy, you are my Boulder, my rock of support. I will never really know what you have done throughout my life, but I know you have never stopped believing in me. Sharon, you are like my second mother to me. You have always told me how it is, how it should be and I thank you for that. Phil. Words can not say how much you mean to me. You love so unconditionaly, so easily, You showed me how to do the same, Thank you Popa. This whole blog comes to one thing for the rest of you. Tell those you love how much you love them - daily. Don't wait, it may come to late. If you think someone may live forever, they won't but it's a nice feeling to think that. Let those around you know how much they mean to you, no matter how silly it may turn out to sound, tell them, they truely may not know how much they have touched your lives.